I was raised to believe that you never give cash as a gift, because it meant you didn't put the time and effort into thinking about what the recipient would want. People were also discouraged from giving my brothers and I money as gifts. As an adult, however, I strongly disagree with this policy.
Today I went shopping at a department store with a $70 gift card. I spent almost an hour carefully choosing clothing for Hunks and Chunks, calculating what I could get with my 15% off coupon and my credit. Shorts, pajamas, swim suits, and shirts were all carefully considered, examined, replaced or hung on the stroller. A stroll through the toddler shoe department. A wistful glance at the layettes. At the cash register, an older man with whom I had chatted about babies, empty nests, and his wish for grandchildren while he and Hunks flirted from the stroller, scooted up behind me and handed me an even better coupon and a pat on the arm.
The gift of the gift card is the time spent choosing things I wouldn't normally be able to afford, the thrill of the bargain hunt, taking time to connect with another person over baby smiles, another day between laundry trips, and the superficial joy it gives me to put my little peanuts in the clothing I picked out before they suddenly have Big Opinions about how they look. That's a pretty sweet gift.
Like a Wombat, but with a Baby
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
First Birthday Gift Recommendations
Tap, tap... is this thing on? I took a 16 month hiatus from the blog, but I'm trying to bring it back, baby! Turns out, raising two children is more labor intensive than one. UB is 10 months old, Schubert is 27 months, I'm preparing to move from FL to TX, and getting excited about helping my best friend plan her wedding. Today, however, I want to respond to a friend who asked about great birthday gifts for a one year old.
My first instinct when asked about what a one year old needs to play with is to chuckle. One year olds are easy! They need almost NOTHING to entertain themselves. An empty box, a stack of clean rags, a wooden spoon and a bowl. Seriously, both of my kids will play with this silicone skillet handle cover for 20 minutes at a time. They just pass it back and forth, all slobbery and covered in dog hair.
Grandparents, on the other hand, feel some kind of primal urge to spend way to much money on gigantic, eyesore gifts that make you want to scream when you see them. They have two volume settings (loud, and ear-splitting), are garishly colored ("The theme is neon transsexual Brazilian carnival!"), and/or have 25,000 pieces. Grandfathers tend towards the developmentally inappropriate ("He'll grow into the marble run/chainsaw/napalm kit!")
My first instinct when asked about what a one year old needs to play with is to chuckle. One year olds are easy! They need almost NOTHING to entertain themselves. An empty box, a stack of clean rags, a wooden spoon and a bowl. Seriously, both of my kids will play with this silicone skillet handle cover for 20 minutes at a time. They just pass it back and forth, all slobbery and covered in dog hair.
Grandparents, on the other hand, feel some kind of primal urge to spend way to much money on gigantic, eyesore gifts that make you want to scream when you see them. They have two volume settings (loud, and ear-splitting), are garishly colored ("The theme is neon transsexual Brazilian carnival!"), and/or have 25,000 pieces. Grandfathers tend towards the developmentally inappropriate ("He'll grow into the marble run/chainsaw/napalm kit!")
Who doesn't want a 900 piece acid trip scattered across their floor for Baby to aspirate?
To nip these atrocities in the bud, my friend is smart to have a list ready and available for the well-meaning (I hope) grandparent, aunt, uncle, college friend, or random vagrant whom she has invited to celebrate her child's birthday. Here are some tried-and-true toys, books, and gear.
I think the most played with toy in my home, by hours, goes to the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Learning Play Home.
I purchased this gigantic plastic creation from a consignment store when my daughter was 15 months old, thinking that she was on the outer edge of being interested in it. WRONG! She loves the music and learning settings (when you open/close things, you can choose for songs to play or a narration (eg, "How Much is that Doggy in the Window" or a sing-song voice declaring "Uuuuup! Doooooown!" when you slide the window shade). She has played with this house literally every single day since we've owned it.
As a parent, you will go through three distinct stages of emotion regarding this house. First, delight at its novelty and admiration because your child is enamored with it, spending 15 or 20 sweet-ass minutes playing independently. "Oh, yes, the Itsy Bitsy Spider! I remember that song!".
Next, the self-loathing stage. "Why would I buy such large, ugly, plastic toy? AND THERE'S ALWAYS TRAFFIC COMING OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE! SHUT UP! DAMN YOOOOOU!"
And finally, the acceptance stage. This might actually be the result of your Mommy Brain losing the fight and turning to mush, but you start to sing along, "It's the sun, it's the sun, it's the beautiful sun!" like it's a Beatles hit. Your kids still love it. Win-win, I guess?
A note about this toy: I got mine for $45 at a consignment store, missing all of the accessories, and my kids love it. There are discontinued versions (a farm and a kitchen) which also look amazing. The kitchen one, in fact, was encountered at a friend's house and Shubert loved it so much that I started looking around for one. These are frequently resold at secondhand stores, garage sales, consignment sales, and message boards. Don't pay full price; at least get a 20% off coupon!
The toy that gets the most excited squeals and requests for use is the "FWIIIIIDE!"
We keep this on our balcony, although it did live in Schubey's room for a few weeks. It has it all! A steering wheel, steps, a tunnel, and a slide. For some reason, she's really scared of swings, but loves to go up and down the steps at the playground (my paraspinal muscles rejoice). I field requests to use this at least 3 times/day; the only caveats are that it's large for an indoor toy, and if you keep it outside, it gets dirty and you have to go through the shoes-and-socks routine. Anyone with a covered patio or screened porch should be golden. It's also lightweight enough to move around easily. This structure also looks fun for smaller kids.
And one item I don't actually own, but would love to have if we weren't so short on space, is a smart trike, wagon, or pushable car.
These seem awesome for play dates or family trips to the park and playground. They include drink holders and compartments for keys and phones, seat belts, and handles to push your child easily, as well as storage space for toys, towels, snacks, etcetera. It's a different experience than a stroller ride for the kiddos. Smart Trikes actually convert into a kid-powered toy when your baby is ready. The wagons seem like they'd be useful for years (when your kids are too big to ride, throw the cooler and toys in there!).
Runners up and smaller-ticket items: a huge bag of balls for a ball pit (throw them in the pack-n-play and let the kid go nuts scooping into a bucket, kicking, throwing, diving, etcetera). They also work well in a small inflatable pool. Bubbles, bubble machines, and bubble wands. Wooden puzzles (Melissa and Doug are great). Play food/play kitchen. BOOKS! Stearns puddle jumper life jacket.
Of course, new toddlers also love Amazon gift cards and spa trips. Or so I hear.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
First Birthday Party - How Much is Too Much?
Shubu turns one next week, and we are having a small birthday party this weekend. At least, I thought it was going to be small. As of now, about 15 adults and 5 babies will be there. I think that blow-out parties for people who can't even walk is a little silly. However, the more people that RSVP "yes", the stronger the pressure to have A Real Party.
The plan for now is to meet at a local park (well, local to ME) for snacks and cupcakes. For the babies, we will have mylar balloons (floating! shiny! bouncy!), a little bubble machine, and sippy cups. For the adults, I'm thinking cupcakes, fruit salad, cheese and crackers, and chips and salsa. It's a public park and playground (situated in an amazing spot) so I don't want to be too obtrusive or obnoxious to other patrons. I'll be bringing a couple of blankets and tablecloths so that we can sprawl on the lawn.
The thing is, that seems kind of boring for the childless adult guests. The last first-birthday party I attended was a-ma-zing. The theme was "Romero Britto", complete with 8 foot tall, Britto-inspired sculpture of the birthday girl's name. There were probably 50 people there, and at least half were related to the birthday girl. They grilled, had tons of drinks, and the mama baked 250 cupcakes! Kids played on the playground, bounce house, and attacked a piñata. It was perfectly suited for that family; yet our family is much more low-key. Will people be disappointed by just hanging out in the park, watching babies do their thing? I guess we will see. And if it's a bust, we get another first birthday next year!
The plan for now is to meet at a local park (well, local to ME) for snacks and cupcakes. For the babies, we will have mylar balloons (floating! shiny! bouncy!), a little bubble machine, and sippy cups. For the adults, I'm thinking cupcakes, fruit salad, cheese and crackers, and chips and salsa. It's a public park and playground (situated in an amazing spot) so I don't want to be too obtrusive or obnoxious to other patrons. I'll be bringing a couple of blankets and tablecloths so that we can sprawl on the lawn.
The thing is, that seems kind of boring for the childless adult guests. The last first-birthday party I attended was a-ma-zing. The theme was "Romero Britto", complete with 8 foot tall, Britto-inspired sculpture of the birthday girl's name. There were probably 50 people there, and at least half were related to the birthday girl. They grilled, had tons of drinks, and the mama baked 250 cupcakes! Kids played on the playground, bounce house, and attacked a piñata. It was perfectly suited for that family; yet our family is much more low-key. Will people be disappointed by just hanging out in the park, watching babies do their thing? I guess we will see. And if it's a bust, we get another first birthday next year!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Spreading the News
We broke the news about little UB (Urban Banjo) to our families on Christmas morning. Each person got a calendar with a different picture of Shubu on each month. Most were themed (an orange-and-black striped outfit in October, for example), but July's was of Shubu wearing a "Big Sister" onesie and holding the sonogram. I had filled in each family member's birthday and anniversary, and on July 13, "Baby H 2.0 Due Date!" It was fun to see each person slowly "get it". My favorite was my mother-in-law, who was so touched at the calendar concept (her late mother used to do the birthday calendars) that she never made it to July. Everyone else had already seen it and shrieked, and we had to convince her to sit down and look at it more carefully.
With my Facebook friends, I had to be a little more cheeky. I posted an album with pictures of a "bump" road sign, a jar of Prego sauce, a pea pod, a hamburger bun in an oven, and finally the Big Sister/sonogram photo. I can't wait to see little UB again next week!
With my Facebook friends, I had to be a little more cheeky. I posted an album with pictures of a "bump" road sign, a jar of Prego sauce, a pea pod, a hamburger bun in an oven, and finally the Big Sister/sonogram photo. I can't wait to see little UB again next week!
Excuses, Excuses
WELL, I took an almost three-week sabbatical here, but for a moderately good reason. All I could think about was pregnancy and it wasn't time to announce it online! I am 12 weeks along with baby number two.
In mid-October, I dreamt I had a new baby boy and named him Urban Banjo.
The first week of November, I had a friend and her two boys over in the morning. I made a couple of jokes about being forgetful, so I must be pregnant. Then I started counting. And thinking about how my breasts had gone up two cup sizes. And how tired I was. And how I had pimples on my forehead. And freaking. Out.
Two more friends and their babies showed up to make Christmas ornaments as the first friend left. I couldn't wait for them to leave so that I could go buy a pregnancy test. DJ was sleeping after a night shift, and hadn't gotten good rest for days, so after dashing to the drugstore and getting a big, fat PREGNANT on the digital test, I didn't want to wake him. I stayed up, panicking, all night long. I re-did our budget. I figured out what we would have to buy (a double stroller and diapers). I realized that as long as this baby did not also have allergies, we would be okay financially.
DJ took the news beautifully for having just woken up and it being a complete surprise. We took a long family walk and saw the sun rise, and later I made an appointment with a new OBGYN. We were going to become a family of four in the new year. Oh, and that dream? Was probably the night the embryo implanted.
In mid-October, I dreamt I had a new baby boy and named him Urban Banjo.
The first week of November, I had a friend and her two boys over in the morning. I made a couple of jokes about being forgetful, so I must be pregnant. Then I started counting. And thinking about how my breasts had gone up two cup sizes. And how tired I was. And how I had pimples on my forehead. And freaking. Out.
Two more friends and their babies showed up to make Christmas ornaments as the first friend left. I couldn't wait for them to leave so that I could go buy a pregnancy test. DJ was sleeping after a night shift, and hadn't gotten good rest for days, so after dashing to the drugstore and getting a big, fat PREGNANT on the digital test, I didn't want to wake him. I stayed up, panicking, all night long. I re-did our budget. I figured out what we would have to buy (a double stroller and diapers). I realized that as long as this baby did not also have allergies, we would be okay financially.
DJ took the news beautifully for having just woken up and it being a complete surprise. We took a long family walk and saw the sun rise, and later I made an appointment with a new OBGYN. We were going to become a family of four in the new year. Oh, and that dream? Was probably the night the embryo implanted.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Murphy's Laws of Childbirth
In the last few years, there has been a lot of talk about women being allowed to eat and drink during labor. Babycenter and Babble frequently mention it. Homebirthers talk about how nice it is to eat their own food in their own homes while they labor. Yet I was told immediately upon entering the L&D unit that I couldn't have anything PO. "Um... I'm not getting induced for 11 hours?" Didn't matter.
I begged DJ to bring me a snack. He refused. I cited studies that showed that it was safe to eat and drink during labor (I had recently read this article). I went about 20 hours without food or drink until my OB came in to check me. I was manipulative in how I phrased my desires.
"Dr. S, what would you recommend I eat right now?"
"I... what? Nothing. You're not supposed to eat."
"Come on. You know, and I know, that I would do better with a few calories in my system. So if I am going to drink something, what should it be?"
"Uh... iced tea?"
DONE! DJ, get me a Brisk iced tea! He reluctantly got it for me, and allowed only small sips. This was just enough to mentally get me through the rest of labor. However...
About thirty minutes after delivering, I felt a sharp, throbbing pain in the scene of the crime. A nurse came in, widened her eyes, and said "Let me get the doctor." The doctor came in and said "Ehh... I've never seen that before." Shortly afterward, I vomited, straight Brisk iced tea, as I was wheeled to emergency surgery. I was so confident that I would not need emergency surgery, that those precautions would not apply to me, and lo and behold! Since I had opted for an epidural, I did not need general anesthesia, but if I hadn't, I would have been the textbook case for not allowing eating or drinking during labor.
Everything about this experience makes me question my crunchier inclinations regarding childbirth. I love the idea of a home birth, but if I had attempted it with Shubu, I would have died. I was certain it was safe for me to eat and drink, but if I hadn't gotten the epidural (and I nearly didn't), it could have further endangered my life during surgery. With my next baby, I am torn between thinking that lightning can't strike twice, and the idea that whatever can happen, will happen to me. Just something else to think about!
I begged DJ to bring me a snack. He refused. I cited studies that showed that it was safe to eat and drink during labor (I had recently read this article). I went about 20 hours without food or drink until my OB came in to check me. I was manipulative in how I phrased my desires.
"Dr. S, what would you recommend I eat right now?"
"I... what? Nothing. You're not supposed to eat."
"Come on. You know, and I know, that I would do better with a few calories in my system. So if I am going to drink something, what should it be?"
"Uh... iced tea?"
DONE! DJ, get me a Brisk iced tea! He reluctantly got it for me, and allowed only small sips. This was just enough to mentally get me through the rest of labor. However...
About thirty minutes after delivering, I felt a sharp, throbbing pain in the scene of the crime. A nurse came in, widened her eyes, and said "Let me get the doctor." The doctor came in and said "Ehh... I've never seen that before." Shortly afterward, I vomited, straight Brisk iced tea, as I was wheeled to emergency surgery. I was so confident that I would not need emergency surgery, that those precautions would not apply to me, and lo and behold! Since I had opted for an epidural, I did not need general anesthesia, but if I hadn't, I would have been the textbook case for not allowing eating or drinking during labor.
Everything about this experience makes me question my crunchier inclinations regarding childbirth. I love the idea of a home birth, but if I had attempted it with Shubu, I would have died. I was certain it was safe for me to eat and drink, but if I hadn't gotten the epidural (and I nearly didn't), it could have further endangered my life during surgery. With my next baby, I am torn between thinking that lightning can't strike twice, and the idea that whatever can happen, will happen to me. Just something else to think about!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Must-have Baby Items
I have a feeling that this is going to be a series post, as I can never make a comprehensive list in one try, but I have several pregnant or new-mom friends, and I keep referring them to the same products. I might as well compile them! Prerequisite every baby and every mom is different, blah blah blah, but these were my favorite or life-saving items with Shubu.
Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper
Shubu slept in this every night until she was almost six months old. I think the angle prevented reflux, plus the mesh sides made it almost like a snug little hammock. The only thing that I disliked about this was that I could not turn her head to one side or the other, and she naturally wanted to turn her head to the right. This led to the beginnings of plagiocephaly, but we carefully positioned her at other times and gave her lots of tummy time and baby-wearing time, and her little coconut is as round as can be today. I loved that this could easily be brought into the living room, so I could sleep on the couch with her if my husband needed more sleep.
Ergo Baby Carrier
I. Love. My. Ergo. I am very "into" wearing my baby. Although I somewhat agree with the philosophies behind attachment parenting, I really do it because I enjoy it. I love to bend my head and kiss her soft hair, or look into her eyes when we pass something exciting on the street. I'd rather have her stuck to my belly or back while I walk the dog or do errands than in another seat. That said, I have tried the BabyBjorn Air (gave me back pain), the Moby (jeez, not enough time in the day to get it wrapped- though nice for new newborns), and a Hotsling (loved it, till I lost 30 pounds and mine was too big). The Ergo is the most comfortable, even with a 20 pounder! The only drawback in my opinion, is that it is too bulky to be very portable. I can't just stuff it in my diaper bag like a sling.
Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper
Shubu slept in this every night until she was almost six months old. I think the angle prevented reflux, plus the mesh sides made it almost like a snug little hammock. The only thing that I disliked about this was that I could not turn her head to one side or the other, and she naturally wanted to turn her head to the right. This led to the beginnings of plagiocephaly, but we carefully positioned her at other times and gave her lots of tummy time and baby-wearing time, and her little coconut is as round as can be today. I loved that this could easily be brought into the living room, so I could sleep on the couch with her if my husband needed more sleep.
I. Love. My. Ergo. I am very "into" wearing my baby. Although I somewhat agree with the philosophies behind attachment parenting, I really do it because I enjoy it. I love to bend my head and kiss her soft hair, or look into her eyes when we pass something exciting on the street. I'd rather have her stuck to my belly or back while I walk the dog or do errands than in another seat. That said, I have tried the BabyBjorn Air (gave me back pain), the Moby (jeez, not enough time in the day to get it wrapped- though nice for new newborns), and a Hotsling (loved it, till I lost 30 pounds and mine was too big). The Ergo is the most comfortable, even with a 20 pounder! The only drawback in my opinion, is that it is too bulky to be very portable. I can't just stuff it in my diaper bag like a sling.
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